Today I have a guest post from the awesome David Morgan, author of The Boo Hag, which I reviewed here. This guest post is so unique, I love it and hope you guys do as well.
Please check out The Boo Hag, it is absolutely awesome and I recommend it to anyone!
So, I dug down deep into my soul, and found the place where the characters from The Boo Hag live. I’d like to say I found them in the soft spot of my heart because I love them so much. And I do. But they weren’t there. No, they were down a little farther. Not that far though, get your mind out of the gutter. No, they were in the ol’ stomach region. They were the ones causing me heartburn for nights on end as I agonized over their fates. They were all there: Lenny and Anna, Brian, Paul, and even the glorious Katie. There was even a red-eyed boo hag lurking around the fringes, but she never comes too close, never close enough for contact, even with me. But I guess that’s my fault. I didn’t paint her in the most favorable light. My apologies, Boo, but you really gave me no choice.
Anywho, I found them, and I said, “Gang,” sometimes I say stupid things when I’m talking, like calling people gang. Anyway, “Gang, I’m doing a guest post…” Of course I couldn’t get any further before Katie chimed in and was all, “You? Ha, the world is hard up for entertainment if they’re turning to you.” And I was like, “Dude,” sometimes I call girls dude. “Dude, you can’t talk to me like that. I made you.” And she laughed and shook her head and was like, “No, no, no. I made you, buddy. I made you.” Before I had a chance to rebut she took off behind my appendix. It’s sad when your own characters don’t respect you.
I was about to give up on the idea of a guest post, but then I got a knowing nod from my girl, Anna, who took off in pursuit of the outspoken cheerleader, and I could only imagine the tongue-lashing she was about to dole out. Brian’s eyes glazed over, and I knew he was thinking about what had happened, searching for a way he could have nipped the problem in the bud. Paul threw his arm around my shoulder, but then, clearly embarrassed by his unabashed show of emotion, drew away and punched me, in true man fashion, on the arm, deepened his voice, and mumbled, “Don’t let ‘er get to you.” Or something like that. He kinda faded out at the end. I was almost back to my pre-Katie conditions, but not quite. Certainly not enough to write something worthy of Ink Scratchers.
And then came Lenny. She walked confidently to me, reached her hand out to lift my chin, but pulled back before touching me, as it would be inappropriate. I mean I think I’m young, but to her I’m pretty old; it would have been weird. But the point is she got my attention. I looked into her eyes. Eyes filled with cool confidence. Steely resolve hardened in the fires of adversity. “Hey,” she said, “you faced the boo hag.” She paused, dramatically. And yet perfectly. She tilted her head forward slightly. “You faced the boo hag. You can stand up to one cheerleader.” I shrugged. “That wasn’t me; that was you.” She just shook her head and pointed at my heart.
I got the message. It was me. They were me. I was all of them. Through them, I had faced the boo hag. I was in charge. I am in charge. I raised my hands in triumph, ready to write the best guest post ever! And then I looked at the page and shrugged. It was getting a little long. Ah, this’ll have to do.
Thanks for the opportunity to post on your blog!
Please come and visit me at writerunsolicited.blogspot.com. Or drop me a line at email@example.com. Or do both. Definitely don’t do neither. I don’t even want to think about what would happen if you did neither.